Animal Lovers Unite!

I am obsessed with animals, and unashamed.

Ok now that that disclaimer is out there, here are some activities for animal lovers.

ACTIVITY #1

Go hang out at your local Humane Society.  I didn't say get a pet (although that would be encouraged) I realize this is not an option for a lot of people, myself included since I live in a rental house that doesn't allow pets (a rule I feel it necessary to bend) (actually just break).  Usually they encourage people to come in and interact with the animals even if you aren't planning on adopting because the animals are in cages all day and need some love and to stretch their legs.  They also need to learn how to act around people.  Also!  It is a scientific fact that being around animals, specifically dogs, is good for your health.  This activity will be benefitting everyone involved!

You Will Need:

A Loving Heart

(In my case) Someone stronger than you who will make you leave with out adopting.

How To:(Pretty easy)

1.  Go to the Humane Society

2.  Play with cute furry things

3.  Find one and get attached to it

4.  Almost cry when you have to leave it

5.  Talk about it for days

...ok this isn't the fun part. 

I always fall in love with the dogs who are a little older and look like they have had a hard life.  My theory is that they love you the hardest because they know what its like to not be loved and to not have a good home, whereas a puppy that you've had since it was tiny will love you but it doesn't know how good it has it.  I also always like the ones who fit into the category of "so ugly they're cute".  In summary, I love the ones other people don't.

Here are some pictures to entice you...

 Some of the pictures look like they were taken from a computer screen... they were.  I like to take pictures of the animals on the Humane Society website and text them to Garret to try and convince him we need to get one, or at least just go see them.  (This has happened multiple times and obviously never worked since we still don't have a dog. Hmmph! but we have gone to play with them several times)

Here is a particularly memorable example of this:

Christine:  Looks like a dog/fish mix. Lets get her!

Garret:  Why would a dog/fish mix be a desirable thing?

C:  She's so cute and she could rescue me if I'm drowning

G:  Or she would drown because of her weird nose.

C:  No, she's part fish, she can breath underwater

G:  Water would certainly get in her nose but that doesn't count as breathing.

C:  Just because you're beautiful and have a luscious beard doesn't mean you can judge others for their imperfections.

G:  I'm not judging, I'm trying to protect her from drowning when you want to toss her into the nearest puddle to see if she is an impossible hybrid.

C:  I'M not the bad guy here.  I want to rescue her from a life behind a chain link fence where no one will love her because she's not beautiful.  She's exactly the kind of dog I love!

G:  I think she would certainly love you for taking care of her and cleaning out her nostrils on a regular basis.

C:  I would do that for her.  And for you, I love you, goodnight.

ACTIVITY #2

Temporarily adopt/steal/borrow your neighbor's dog.  (I do not recommend that you do this activity preemptively)

You Will Need:

Neighbors who don't take care of their dog

Flea Shampoo

Basin

Warm water

Flea meds

Towel

                                                               A Loving Heart(the one you used for Activity #1 will work for this one as well)

How To:

1.  Look out your window and see a dog in your yard

2.  Convinced it's a stray, go outside and pet it realizing its covered in thousands of fleas, its missing patches of hair, and its feet are bleeding, further confirming its a stray.

3.  Conveniently, you already have flea shampoo from when your cat had fleas so, use a basin (or a big rubbermaid tub) as a bath tub and fill with warm water.

4.  Give your new friend a bath to get rid of the fleas, all the while getting more and more attached to her.

5.  Text your boyfriend and roommates "I may have done something bad."

6.  The dog had so many fleas that this bath did not kill all of them, so go to your local pet store and get some Capstar which kills all the fleas in 30 minutes.

7.  After 30 minutes give her another bath to get all the dead fleas off.

               SIDENOTE:  if "your" dog is as sweet as "mine" she will fall asleep in the tub during her second bath. 

8.  Wrap the precious angel in a towel and cuddle on the couch like so ----------------------->

                          (She slept like this for 2 hours, SNORING)

9.  Take her to meet your friends

<--------10.  Let her sleep in your lap again.

11.  Take her home thoroughly in love

12.  Take her out to go to the bathroom before bed where her real owner will drive up and say "There you are Matilda" and take away your child.

13.  Go back inside and plot how you can sneak over and steal her back because she has a bad owner who lets her get 10,000 fleas and bloody feet.

14.  Don't actually go through with that because you're pretty sure thats basically kidnapping.

15.  Go to bed satisfied that you've done a good deed.

Ok now that last part was not so fun but over all the day was really great.  I just got to pretend I had a dog all day.  I also realize how ridiculous this sounds and that most people would have ignored the dog in their yard, thus avoiding the whole heartbreak but I can't help it that I have a bleeding heart for helpless animals.  Can you blame me?  Look at this ---------->

                               
 Just spooning on the couch